Is it only a sin when you feel guilty?

Question:

I have been married for 4yrs and with my husband a total of 8yrs we have a 4yr old and a 7 month old. My husband has been looking at porn and chatting with risky women online for a long time. I got pregnant because of his actions online I feel and I am going crazy! My question is, he says that a sin is not a sin unless you feel guilty….I know that this cannot be true! Why would God give us these rules to live by?! What are your thoughts and what should I do about my husband’s wondering eyes? I feel soo alone!

Answer:

I have heard a lot of excuses for sin, but this one takes the cake!  Imagine this defence in a court of law:  “Your honour, I did kill that man, but I never felt guilty, so you can’t find me guilty of murder”.   Utterly ridiculous!  See what God’s Word has to say on the matter:

Romans 6: 1 What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? 2 Certainly not! How shall we who died to sin live any longer in it?

Matthew 5: 27 “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

So your husband is in the sight of God an adulterer!  The fact is, and very few porn viewers want to know this, your husband is addicted to porn.  Pornography is an evil tool of the devil to break up marriages, and it is proving to be very effective, and extremely addictive.  The only way he is to be rid of it is to come to the realization that he is a sinner, and not able to rid himself of this addiction.  If he turns it over to God, and repents of it, God will help him to kick the habit.  But, as an alcoholic will immediately become a raging drunk after taking one sip of alcohol, so the porn addict will revert back after just one peek at the images he so eagerly seeks out now.

So what now?  If your husband does not turn from this evil, he is not committed to God, and therefore no Christian.  But if he realises that he is entrapped in pornography, and he turns to God for help, confessing his sins, then God will not only forgive him, but help him to kick this habit totally.

1 John 1: 9   If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Please do not feel that you are in any way to blame for this porn addiction.  Many women feel that they are not desirable, or that they have done something to drive the husband to pornography, but this is nonsense!  Turn to God and pray for your husband, and support him if he decides to kick the habit.  But if he keeps up this addiction, it will eventually destroy your relationship completely and also your marriage.  I pray that you will stand strong and demand that your husband see himself as he really is, and then turn himself over to God.

If we can help any further with advice, prayers or support for you both, please don’t hesitate to contact us again.

Matthew 5:28

But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

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