Are Christian teenagers allow to date?
Dating for Christian teenagers, is a time of getting to know members of the opposite sex, in an environment with adults and other teenagers. There could be couples, but never alone, together in a crowd of friends, teachers, parents or other responsible Christian adults. Dating teenagers together by themselves is a dangerous situation, as the definition of dating today is not as it used to be. Dating today is seen by most young people as sleeping together, before deciding whether the relationship becomes serious. For you, dating is getting to know each other, learning about the other’s background, the likes and dislikes, and whether the person-ality of the other is compatible with your own. This of course, assumes that both are already in harmony on their views about God and what He has in mind for their lives. Without God as the central pillar, most relationships are already doomed from the beginning. The reason for starting a serious relationship is preparation for marriage, and if that is not the reason, stop right now. Many Christian young people think that they can be by themselves and nothing will happen, because they are Christians, but too many Christians have found themselves in trouble just because they are alone.
Marriage is one of two institutions put in place by God Himself, that go right back to creation and the Garden of Eden. God created Adam and Eve, performed a marriage ceremony which is not described, but it says
Genesis 2 24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. 25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.
In the Bible sex is seen only in the context of marriage. Everything else is sexual immorality. That is because sex was created as the highest form of the expression of love, only in an inti-mate love relationship, which God created as marriage. The devil has however highjacked sex and turned it into a multi-billion dollar industry, where love is totally out of the picture, and lust reigns supreme. God intended it as an emotional/spiritual/physical expression, whereas the devil’s version is purely physical. This “sexual revolution” has also reached into the church, because it has become so normal in the world. Fifty years ago, any unmarried couple living together would be frowned upon by most of society, not only the church, but today this has become normal. So now the church is seen as being behind the times, judg-mental, narrow minded, purely because our standard is still the same.
As Christians our biggest problem is that we want to do our own thing, without restriction. And God wants us to surrender our lives to Him totally, without question, so that He can lead us in the way which ultimately is the best for us. If God is truly first in our lives, we will be very interested in what His opinion is about everything in our lives, especially about our choice of marriage partner and how we conduct our relationship before marriage as well as during marriage. It has become so much harder in our society to remain pure until marriage, because the world had become totally sex crazy. Everything has been sexualized, and even pornography is seen as normal. So, to be truly committed young Christians today is not easy, especially for a hot-blooded young couple. But if we are serious about our relationship with God, we will say as Jesus said in the Garden of Gethsemane:
Luke 22:42 “Father, … not My will, but Yours, be done.”
Let’s take a look at what the Bible has to say about our behavior as Christians in general, and specifically with regard to sex.
Luke 9:23 Then He said to them all, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me.”
Romans 13 13 Let us walk properly, as in the day, not in revelry and drunkenness, not in lewdness and lust, not in strife and envy. 14But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts.
1 John 2:16 For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world.
Ephesians 5 3 But fornication and all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not even be named among you, as is fitting for saints; 4 neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks.
This Biblical view of sex, and the abstinence from sex before marriage, is not a popular one, which is why so many regular churchgoers are living together without getting married. But we have the choice: either be a follower of Christ and obey Him completely, or do our own thing; God has given us the power of free choice. The problem is that doing your own thing is exactly what the worldly person does, while true Christians follow the will of their Father in heaven. Look at Jesus’ point of view:
Matthew 7 21 “Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven. 22 Many will say to Me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?’ 23 And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!’
James 4:7 Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.
I pray that this answer will be studied carefully and prayerfully, as it will influence the rest of your life. God bless!
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