The short answer is, you need a close personal relationship with God. God is the only One who can change our hearts, our characters, and we cannot, try as we may. The one thing that you should know, is that God loves you, not because you are good, but in spite of the fact that we are all bad. God knows that we are all sinners, and does not condemn us, but loves us and wants to change our lives. The only thing that you can do, is to bring yourself into the closest position as possible to God, and let Him do the rest, transform your life. Have a look at some of the Scripture passages below.

1 John 4:8   He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.

Philippians 2     ¹² … work out your own salvation with fear and trembling; ¹³ for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure.

John 17:3   “And this is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent.”

John 17:23 (NLT)   “ I am in them and you are in me. May they experience such perfect unity that the world will know that you sent me and that you love them as much as you love me.”

The sins we have done, are doing or still will do, make no difference to God’s love. He loves 100%, no matter whether we love Him or hate Him. We cannot make Him love us less if we are utterly sinful and reject Him, and we cannot make Him love us more, if we are His closest friends. And how do we measure God’s love for us? Look at John 17:23 above, where Jesus tells His Father that He (the Father) loves us (you and me), as much as He loves Jesus. Let that sink in! You are loved by the Father as much as He loves Jesus! And of course, that goes the same for Jesus and the Holy Spirit. None of us deserves to be saved, for we are all sinners. But Jesus took our sins, died our death, and gives us salvation and eternal life, just because He loves us. That is grace!

God did not create us for sexual sins, but to leave any sexual activity to married life, but we are so bombarded by sex, even at a young age, that it is almost inevitable that most of us fall into it at some stage. God knows that it comes naturally to us, because as sinners we are attracted to it, but it is not what He planned for us. He also knows that, even though we have the best of intentions, we are incapable of changing ourselves. The devil knows everything about us, and knows exactly what buttons to press to tempt us, and before you realise it, you are involved in sexual sin again. Only God can change us, but only if we hate sin, and give ourselves totally to Him, so He can miraculously transform our behaviour, our entire lives. And even then, we still sometimes are trapped by the devil, and we do what we don’t want to do. Don’t feel alone, the apostle Paul had this to say.

Romans 7     ¹⁸ For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells; for to will is present with me, but how to perform what is good I do not find. ¹⁹ For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice. ²⁰ Now if I do what I will not to do, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me.

And there you have the Christian’s problem, we know that we are not doing the right thing, but we are powerless to change it. Only God can, so obviously the thing to do is, to let Him do it! But this means that you have to enter into a close personal relationship with Him, get to know Him properly, and you will find that He is the most patient, gentle, loving, forgiving, kind God that you will ever know. He never condemns you, and just wants you to be His son, so He can help you be the person He wants you to be. Spend time with God every day, pray to Him as you would talk to a friend, and let Him speak to you by reading His Word, the Bible. Become His friend, because that is what He wants. And when you do fall into sin, don’t run from God, but to Him, telling Him your feelings, dreams, problems and sins, and let Him do His work in you. Always remember, there is not a person on this earth that loves you more than God, and He will never leave or forsake you, as long as you keep coming to Him.

Hebrews 13:5   ... For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

John 6:37   “All that the Father gives Me will come to Me, and the one who comes to Me I will by no means cast out.”

Whatever happens, whatever you do or don’t do, please know that God loves you 100%, wants to help you, change you, and make you ready to live in His kingdom, forever. God bless!