I’m really struggling with fantasising I’ve asked god for help but I’m still struggling.


Your brain is the strongest computer available, so it is no surprise that it gives amazing pornography. The first thing that you have to come to terms with, is the fact that you cannot change yourself, no matter how hard you try. The only thing that you can do, is use your power of free choice, which God has given to every human, to decide that you want to be 100% surrendered to God. 99% is not enough, it has to be total submission to God’s will. If you are completely surrendered to God, you will hate sinning. When you are only 99% on God’s side, you will still want to cling to the 1% fantasies, which will still overpower you on a regular basis. Only when you have gotten sick of hurting God, and having to ask for His forgiveness time after time after time, and enjoying the sin, can God step in and begin to transform you, from the inside out.

The focus must not be on your problem, but on Jesus and what He has done for you. And of course, what He wants to do for you, which is to free you from the slavery of the sexual images that your brain is so good at producing. So, make your aim to get to know God in a very special, close relationship, which is what God wants from you. And as you see Him more and more clearly, His image will be formed in you, and exclude all the rubbish which at the moment is still dominating you.

John 17:3   “ And this is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent.”

Hebrews 12:2   looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

2 Corinthians 3:18   But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord.

So how do you start and grow this wonderful relationship with the Godhead, which will free you from all of Satan’s traps? Let’s start with what a human relationship is all about. Say you have someone who you think would make a good friend, how to you become friends? Well, you introduce yourself, talk and tell the person all about yourself. Then you ask the person to tell you all about him/herself, and you listen and learn. You spend more and more time together, find all the points you have in common, and before you know it, you are best friends. Time spent talking, and listening of course, that’s it. Exactly the same with God! Time spent talking and listening. Talking with God is prayer, and listening to Him is reading His Word, the Bible, every day.

Prayer, it is said, is opening the heart as to a friend. In other words, put a pillow on the ground, get on your knees, and be prepared to be there a long time. Tell God everything, your hopes, sins, dreams, disasters, fears, everything you can think of. The funny thing is, God already knows everything about us, but we still have to do it, because it changes our hearts when we spill it all to God. And why should we be scared, if whatever you have done, does not make Him love you less? Be prepared for the devil to try and sabotage your prayer life. He will put thoughts in your mind that are awful, and do it so cunningly, that you will think they are your own thoughts. Or pictures, of course! Or he will make your thoughts wander, so that you cannot concentrate on what you want to tell God. So, before you start, tell God that this is your time with Him, and only Him, and ask Him to keep the devil out. Ask Him to be your fortress all around you, so that you are totally secure with Him, and the devil is outside.

God speaks mostly to us through His love letter to us, His Word, the Bible. That is why it is absolutely essential that we spend time every day reading and studying it. And before we open it, we must ask that God reveal Himself to us through His Word, through the guidance of the Holy Spirit. To read the Bible without inviting God to lead us, is fatal, which is why we have thousands of different denominations, each claiming to have the truth. Jesus said that He is truth (John 14:6), and that the Holy Spirit is called the Spirit of truth (John 14:17), so only with the help of the Holy Spirit will we truly come to understand and know God, and what He tells us in His Word. When you find a verse or passage that particularly speaks to you, it helps if you could memorize it, because without a doubt, the time will come when you will be glad to have it handy, when the devil tempts or terrorizes you.

So, there you have it! Get to know God well, through prayer and Bible study, every day, and your fantasizing prison will be broken down by God. But be regular, every morning preferably, so you can be prepared for the day ahead. And start early, because a good relationship takes time. It worked for me, and it can work for you, if you are serious! Give it a try, don’t be in a rush, and in time you will look back and thank God for what He has done.

God bless as you grow your close personal relationship with the One who died for you!

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