Should my parents divorce?

Question:

My parents are both Christians and they are currently married but my mum is certain that it is going to come to a divorce. I pray for God’s will to be done in their marriage. They are constantly fighting because my dad (who is a pastor) says that they shouldn’t divorce because of what God says about marriage. He implies that their feelings for one another should not count but God’s word should. Although I do agree that the love of God should be 1st in a marriage, my mum says that she used to love my dad but she doesn’t anymore and she won’t stay with someone she doesn’t love. She says that she is sure that God will be happy if she is happier. I am only 12 years old. I do have a 20 year old brother but he lives away from home at university. What should I do to try and help my parents?

Answer:

As a Christian, you would know that God is quite capable of restoring any marriage, healing any wounds, IF both people in the marriage actually want to save it and give God a chance to work. And I am not just talking about keeping up a brave front for the outside world while staying together and dying inside! God is able to restore a marriage to a more loving relationship than ever existed before, but there has to be total surrender to His will, which we know is a healed and loving marriage.

Malachi 2: 16 “ For the LORD God of Israel says that He hates divorce ……

Matthew 19:3 The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?”
4 And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”

Your parents obviously loved each other enough to get married and have children. If this love has disappeared, God can reinstate it, for God is love! Becoming Christians in the first place means placing ourselves in God’s will, and letting Him change us into loving beings, in order to show His love to others. But we have to surrender fully, asking Him to change our hearts into His heart.

1 John 4:7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God 8 He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.
16 And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him.

Ezekiel 36:26 I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. 27: I will put My Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statutes, and you will keep My judgments and do them.

Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding;
6: In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.

But this is something only your parents can do, you can only pray for them. If they have already decided that they don’t want to save the marriage, there is nothing that you can do. But what you can do for your parents is to love them and never stop praying for them, in spite of their fights which would be very upsetting to you. And please never get the idea that you are responsible for their drifting apart, as it is their choice either to separate or to give the marriage to God. You could suggest what I have given above as an alternative to divorce, and pray that they let God lead them in a reconciliation – maybe even suggest them having a “date night”. I will be praying for you and for them. God bless!

Matthew 19:6

So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”

Got your own Question?
Ask a Pastor!

Are you wondering what the Bible has to say on a topic? Maybe you are at a crossroads and don’t know which path to take next.

Whether you want to know why there is suffering in this world or you want to learn how to save your marriage. We will do our very best to bring you sound biblical answers. Completely free, ask away:

Find more answers

What is temptation?

See the answer

What is Salvation?

and how do I get it?

See the answer

Why do bad things happen?

Can bad things happen to me (like losing a loved one) because I didn’t pray enough?

See the answer

Do we have to confess our sins publicly?

Or confess those sins to others?

See the answer

My girlfriend and I had sex…

And we’re trying to figure out what to do about it now.

See the answer